This is not how I envisioned my life as a mom.
If you know me, you already know that I’m not athletic. And my husband hates organized sports. Yet, I have two talented, athletic daughters. I couldn’t wait to have kids, and I couldn’t wait to be at their concerts. I always had the dream that we’d do theater together. I’d be Maria and my kids would be among my Von Trapp children just for starters. My husband is a commercial photographer, and we were sure that we’d bring them to art shows and he’d teach them to throw a pot on the potters wheel and the magic of a darkroom. We’d have a menagarie of animals in our yard. They’d pass on the kids’ menu at restaurants and be well-behaved at the exotic restaurants we’d take them to. They’d learn to eat with chopsticks and love to eat sushi. We’d travel, see Broadway shows, take long hikes as a family, and explore the East Coast. On weekends we’d bake fresh bread, make soup and can our own peaches.
Right!!!
The last thing I expected was to be a soccer mom. My girls lived in princess dresses. Tessa cried when I told her she couldn’t wear a dress to school on gym day. Our home was filled with Barbies and Pet Shop Pets. Laura was as girlie-girl as could be. She could put her own hair in a pony-tail before she was two, maneuvering the elastic like she had been a hairdresser for years.
This weekend I drove Tessa to Albany for tryouts for the national volleyball team. I had no idea what to expect. I know she’s good. I just didn’t know how she’d match up against others in the northeast region. She’s only 5′7″, which is quite short for a volleyball hitter but she jumped and touched 9′4″ and broke the days’ record. Not a bad way to start. She looked great. How great? Do I think the Olympic committee will be calling? Ummm…no. Were there girls that were better? Probably. Weaker? Definitely. I know in my heart that these coaches only got a passing glimpse of a girl who always gives 200% on the court. That lives for the game. That is the one player you want on your team, because she is consistent, unselfish, and will make the play that will keep a team alive. She is the one who will escort the spiders out of the locker room because she can’t hurt a fly. She will show up early, set up the nets, and take them down while others look the other way, chatting on their cell phones and flirting with boyfriends. She was brave enough to jump serve game point at a state championship and didn’t even question whether or not she could do it. She knew her team would win. She knew it. National team or not, I know my daughter is a winner and deep in her heart, she knows it, too. No matter what they say.
By noon on Saturday I was traveling to Boston with Laura for her volleyball tournament. We chose to stay at a hotel for a little more mother-daughter time. We hit the mall for some shopping and feasted at Legal Seafoods. Imagine that - they now behave at restaurants! She played beautifully the entire weekend, a rock on her team. She served 12 points in a row and her smile was worth a million dollars. Her coach told me that she does not need to be in her sister’s shadow and doesn’t need to ride coat-tails. She stands strong on her own.
Sunday night I came home a weary but happy traveler. My amazing husband had cleaned the entire house and had dinner waiting for us when we came home. (Seared scallops in case you’re thinking hamburgers.) He may not love sports, but he stayed home and played mama to the incubating eggs in our living room (turning them every few hours) and put finishing touches on the rabbit hutch for our bunnies that he and Laura will pick out this week.
My mom ventured with me to NY, because she knows that we’d have some quality time on the long car ride while sports-diva slept in the back seat. Dad took Tessa to her soccer game on Saturday and both stood in for us at her volleyball tournament while we were in Boston. Better parents I couldn’t ask for. Juggling schedules is tough but having grandparents are young enough and interested enough to be involved in the day-to-day drama of life is a gift.
I work at home so I can be free. Free to come and go as I please. Free to take hours and days off as I need them. Free to earn enough money so that staying in a hotel is a no-brainer if I so choose. I work at home so that I can be with my girls. My family. My life.
March 17th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Stacey Derbinshire
March 17th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
It’s those unexpected outcomes that makes life interesting. Having family to share it with is what makes it special.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
As a soon-to-be-divorced dad of two girls, I live for the stolen hours alone with each of my girls, whether it’s on the soccer field, at the piano or in the car. Thanx for reminding of what’s most important!